Wednesday, December 3, 2014

A Ghoul Versus Disney's Sleeping Beauty

Original Vs. Remake Part 1: Disney's Sleeping Beauty vs. Maleficent!”

Disney's Sleeping Beauty is a film that needs no introduction, but here's one anyway. This timeless animated epic was released in 1959, and actually was a financial failure at the time. Boasting a budget of over six million dollars, it failed to even make that back upon release and resulted in Disney posting a LOSS for the fiscal year. Keep in mind this was the 1950s, if you adjusted that number for inflation it'd be like 90 trillion dollars or something. People were fired right and left to the point where Disney didn't attempt another fairy tale based animated film until thirty years later with the insanely successful Little Mermaid.

Critics were fairly harsh on virtually every aspect of the movie, which certainly hurt its box office receipts. It also didn't help the film is incredibly similar to Disney's 1937 film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, both featuring an evil witch whose jealousy of a younger woman causes her to curse her into a deathlike state that is only curable by the kiss of true love. Hell, Snow White and Aurora both even hide out in a cabin with a gang of goofy little people. But, like many great films that missed their mark upon release, Sleeping Beauty eventually carved out its own legacy and now is regarded as one of the greatest animated films of all time. Time to see why this is with the first half of the latest Original Vs. Remake showdown, as it's time for A Ghoul Versus Disney's Sleeping Beauty!



We open in the traditional far away land, as its rulers, King Stefan and Queen It's-The-1950s-So-I-Don't-Get-A-Name, are holding a celebration to honour their newborn daughter Aurora. Their longtime friend from another kingdom, King Hubert, is first to pay his respects along with his young son Phillip. Stefan and Hubert have long wished for their kingdoms to be united, so they decide Phillip and Aurora will wed when they come of age. They don't tell Phillip any of this because he's still in the “girls are gross and have cooties” stage, which is confirmed by the look on his face when he sees the baby in the crib. Come on kid, she's going to be LOADED once the merchandise checks start rolling in. Just imagine all the kick ass toys you'll be able to buy once you two get hitched!

The next guests to arrive are the three good fairies: Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather. They fly down and coo over the baby Aurora, blessing her with the gifts of beauty, song, and- whoa, hold that thought. The doors burst open and lightning starts crackling everywhere as the next person shows up in a burst of flames: the ebony clad sorceress Maleficent, she of cheekbones TO DIE FOR. Despite her all black attire, ominous theme music, and mocking voice, I'm sure she's not evil.

Maleficent presents her gift to Aurora: a curse that on her sixteen birthday she'll prick her finger on a spinning wheel... and die. Okay, Maleficent is evil. Stefan orders his guards to seize her, but she vanishes as dramatically as she entered. Wow, she sure sucked the air out of that party. Merryweather gives her gift to counter Maleficent's curse as best she can, casting a spell that Aurora won't die but rather will fall into a deep sleep until she's awoken by a kiss from her true love.

Stefan, just to be on the safe side, orders every spinning wheel in the kingdom destroyed. The fairies still don't think this is good enough though, especially since Merryweather doesn't exactly seem to be the brain trust of the three. Flora cooks up a plan that they'll transform themselves into peasants and raise Aurora themselves in a cottage out in the woods, figuring this will hide her true identity from the evil sorceress. Since this is a fairy tale I'm going to cut this movie WAY more slack than the usual movies I review on here, but this has always raised so many questions for me.

Why don't they just lock Aurora in an empty room until her Sweet Sixteen is over? For that matter, why didn't Maleficent just blast her into oblivion at the celebration? Okay, maybe she wants to cause the royal family as much misery as possible by letting them know their child has a death certificate hanging over her head as they watch her grow up, but if that's the case why not just strike when she's like nine years old? Or, if Aurora somehow manages to beat the curse, why wouldn't she just recurse her the next day? And why does Maleficent hate the crown so much? What's their history? This is likely a case of being careful what one wishes for, as I'm sure the remake will address a few of these questions since it's going to be from Maleficent's point of view. Although I am curious as to what the pro-side of sentencing a newborn girl to death is going to be...

We jump ahead sixteen years, where Maleficent is PISSED. She's never been able to find what happened to Aurora since the fairies hid her, despite having her army of heavily armed mutant animals called the Goons scour the land for her. When one of the Goons reveals they've been looking for a baby the entire time, she blasts them with lightning and sends her pet crow, Diablo, to find a sixteen year old girl. We finally get to meet said girl, whom the fairies have named Briar Rose, as it is now the fateful day Maleficent cursed all those years ago.

The fairies want to make her a dress and a cake for her birthday, sending her out on a mission to pick berries while they do so. Basket in hand, she heads out to the forest... WITHOUT WEARING SHOES. Screw getting pricked by a wheel, what about tetanus?! The good fairies are the worst caretakers EVER. Nah, that's too harsh. At least they didn't respond “maybe” when Aurora asked them if it was okay to let a bus full of kids die.

She sings as she makes her trip, which attracts the attention of a nearby dashing young man on horseback. He tries to find her but ends up falling in a river, hanging up his hat and cloak to dry. Meanwhile Aurora regales her woodland pals about a dream she had where she met a prince, the animals noticing the man's clothes not too far away so they steal them. With each of the animals manning a part of the clothes, they begin to “dance” with Aurora. The man walks in on this scene and makes it INCREDIBLY more awkward when he cuts in on the animals and dances with Aurora himself when her back is turned. She doesn't introduce his crotch to her filthy foot like she probably should, but instead continues to dance with him. They also sing the movie's theme song, “Once Upon A Dream”, which applies perfectly to their relationship and they both somehow know the words for.

When he asks her name, Aurora gets panicked and runs off. The man asks when he can see her again so she blurts out where she lives. Hmm, that's the textbook definition of sending out mixed signals there, Princess. Back at the cottage, we see the fairies don't have a promising career in either clothing design or baking as both their projects have turned out disastrously. Merryweather convinces them to break out the wands and use magic to make everything right, which OF COURSE just happens to grab the attention of a passing by Diablo. Way to go fairies, you had one job, ONE JOB!

The fairies hide when they hear Aurora returning, surprising her with her gifts while Diablo spies on them. When she brings up the stranger that she's... now in love with after knowing him for THREE MINUTES, the fairies inform her she can't be with him because she's betrothed to Prince Phillip. Aurora questions how she could ever marry a prince when she's just a peasant, so the fairies reveal the rest of her back story. She doesn't care about any of this though as she wants to be with the man of her dreams, so she runs off to her room crying.  Frozen this most definitely ain't if you're looking for strong and progressive heroines.

After a very pointless scene of Stefan and Hubert getting hammered off wine, Hubert runs out to greet his son Phillip, who- and you might want to sit down for this shocker- is the man from the forest! DOUBLE GASP! Phillip tells his father all about the stranger that he's going to MARRY... DAMN DUDE, slow the hell down! Yes, I know: fairy tale logic. But geez, in these kind of worlds it seems you couldn't even go down to the store to buy some bread without getting married. It really makes you wonder how anyone ever got anything done when every waking second they were falling in love and making lavish wedding plans.

Hubert goes into full “HELL NO!” mode, so Phillip storms off to his room crying. Hahah, just kidding. He totally ignores his father and rides off to marry Aurora. Ain't no man gonna tell him what to do, amirite fellas? But he's not going to find her at the cottage, as we see the fairies are sneaking Aurora into the castle at that very moment. They give her the royal crown, but she's still in tears over being separated from a man whose name she doesn't even know. They leave her alone in her room to collect herself, which is handy because this is the moment Maleficent chooses to materialize in her fireplace. She transforms into a will-o-wisp, hypnotizing Aurora and leading her up a staircase to a room where she makes a spinning wheel appear. The fairies figure out what's going on pretty quickly, but they're too late, finding a comatose Aurora lying on the floor.

That night Stefan holds a majestic party for Aurora's homecoming, the fairies unable to bring themselves to break the bad news to him so they PUT THE ENTIRE KINGDOM INTO COMAS! Wow, now THAT'S how you cover up a colossal fuck up! Are we sure Maleficent is the villain of this thing? She only put on person into an enchanted sleep, the “good” fairies just iced at least a hundred people! As Hubert falls asleep he mutters something about his son meeting a peasant girl, which makes Flora realize the identity of the mystery man.

They fly off to find him as naturally he wasn't in the kingdom when they cast their spells, so he's still awake. We see him knock on the cottage door, being told to enter by a voice that's totally not evil. Oh, hi there Maleficent! She has the Goons bound and gag Phillip, taking him back to her castle at Forbidden Mountain. She locks him in his dungeon, taunting him with the truth about Aurora and the sleep she is now trapped in. After telling him she plans to release him when he's an old man while Aurora won't have aged a day, she leaves to get some sleep. Being a complete bitch can be quite draining, I imagine. The fairies, who found Phillip's hat in their cottage and figured out what happened, sneak into the castle and free him.

They give him the badass Sword of Truth and the Shield of Virtue because he's going to have to face all the upcoming dangers alone... for some reason. We know the fairies have some amazingly potent magic, they can't lend some of that to Phillip in the name of kicking some Goon ass? They had no problem putting an entire kingdom to sleep, what's a few mutant animal men between friends? Phillip escapes with TONS of help from the fairies which sure seems like help to me, so I'm starting to think they're just making this up as they're going along.

Maleficent is woken up by all of this noise, and if you're keeping score this is the part where the movie gets AMAZING. Up til now it has featured some gorgeous animation, character design, and backgrounds, in addition to some great voice acting and music, but here it gets legendary. Maleficent casts a spell that summons a massive forest of thorny vines around Stefan's castle to block Phillip's path, but he's able to get through them with his sword and continued help of the fairies to her shock. No longer messing around, she materializes right in front of the young prince and she means business.

She transforms into THE MOST AWESOME DRAGON ever seen in movie history, and I do mean EVER. Even the fairies know to back off for this one. Phillip bravely charges at her, deflecting her fire with his shield. They battle, Maleficent igniting the vines on fire all around them because she decided this just wasn't quite epic enough yet. Phillip climbs up a cliff to save himself from getting roasted alive, Maleficent backing him down to the very edge of it. Before he falls to his doom, the fairies summon their courage and enchant his sword, which he then hurls directly into Maleficent's heart. BOOM! She dies, along with her magically summoned flames and vines.

They way now clear, Phillip makes his way to Sleepytown and Aurora's side. He delivers the kiss sixteen years in the making, which wakes everyone up. The happily reunited couple present themselves to their parents and begin dancing to Once Upon a Dream.

Cue the credits.


Now THAT'S how you do an ending! It's barely three minutes long, but is by far one of the most memorable and visually striking battles to ever throw down. This movie was seven years in the making, production designer Eyvind Earle throwing himself into the art style day and night to create something that was unlike anything that had ever been seen before in an animated film. He even used a brand new widescreen format that allowed the film to be more detailed than any other that had been released to date. The amount of power Walt Disney gave him over the film was unprecedented at the time, but completely justified given the end result we were graced with.

Story wise this is about as generic as possible, but complex plots have never been a fairy tale's main strength. Handsome prince meets girl, falls in love with girl, rescues girl from the villain, marries girl. It's kind of interesting that for ostensibly being the hero of the movie, Phillip is barely in it. Aurora certainly isn't the hero either, as she spends most of it in a coma and almost never speaks. In fact, when you take out her singing, she only has eighteen lines of distinct dialogue in the film and doesn't say a word after Phillip awakens her.

I would say the fairies are the true stars of this movie, as they carry the majority of the plot and are the most interesting characters by miles. Maleficent is a spectacular villain, foregoing the cartoonish evil usually seen at the time to be straight up menacing. When she's in frame you are spellbound, every line she says just dripping with power. They're enough to balance out what are ostensibly the main characters, and are more than enough to carry this thing. All in all my favourite classic Disney movie and a must see, especially the mind blowing art showcase at the end.

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