A Ghoul Versus Dexter's Final Season Episode 5: This Little Piggy

Previously on Dexter...

Deb failed the ever-loving HELL out of her Fast And The Furious audition as she tried to kill herself and Dex. Vogel continued to be the most sociopathic psychologist this side of Hannibal Lecter. Quinn... did Quinn things. A Ghoul Versus Dexter's Final Season Episode 5: This Little Piggy!

We open with probably the most ludicrous shot in Dexter's history: Dex and Deb awkwardly sitting in front of Vogel like two misbehaving children as she tries to counsel them. Just think about this: you have Vogel, the world's most worthless profiler who helped guide Dex to become a serial killer trying to solve the problems of the siblings. In the other chairs, you have the serial killer himself who was just almost killed by his sister who is fast racking up a respectable body count of her own.

A Ghoul Versus Dexter's Final Season Episode 4: Scar Tissue

 Previously on Dexter...

An episode that probably should have been about Dexter stalking and killing a cannibal is instead about, uh... Deb drinking a lot. And then drinking even more.

“Sigh, again? Alright Miss Lohan, you know the drill- OH GEEZ, my bad! I thought you were someone else!”

Almost a third in the season and... yeah. We're still waiting for someone to do something besides drink. I give you A Ghoul Versus Dexter's Final Season Episode 4: Scar Tissue!

A Ghoul Versus Dexter's Final Season Episode 3: What's Eating Dexter Morgan?

Previously on Dexter...

Deb killed El Sapo and then maybe threatened to kill Dex. That's pretty much it.

Oh, it also featured the forty-third scene we've gotten of Deb telling Dexter to stay away from her!

Thus far this season isn't even treading water, it's instead beginning to drown in it. It HAS to get better soon, so cross your fingers things start picking up as A Ghoul Versus Dexter's Final Season Episode 3: What's Eating Dexter Morgan?

A Ghoul Versus Dexter's Final Season Episode 2: Every Silver Lining

Previously on Dexter...

The theme of the season is EVERYONE has become a hot mess. Deb has understandably gone off the deep end after killing LaGuerta, Dex is losing himself after Deb shuts him out of her life, and Jamie has made the worst possible decision by beginning to date Quinn.

“You're not going to screw my life up are you, Joey?”

“Nah baby, just because I've done that to my last twenty girlfriends THIS time's gonna be different!”

With the debut of a new serial killer in Miami who has a fetish for cutting out part of his victim's brains, legendary profiler Dr. Evelyn Vogel rolls into town to help catch him. She shocks Dex with the casual revelation he knows all about the Code of Harry.

Not the followup I was hoping for after the shocking ending to Season 7, but hopefully things start gaining steam from here. Get ready to match wits with the Cortex Killer as it's time for A Ghoul Versus Dexter's Final Season Episode 2: Every Silver Lining...

A Ghoul Versus Dexter's Final Season Episode 1: A Beautiful Day

“Previously on Dexter...”

You ever notice the “Previously On” videos on Dexter get progressively longer and longer through the seasons until they're like HALF the freaking episode?

Welcome! Today on A Ghoul Versus... we're going to be doing something different: reviewing an entire season on a television series. The series taking the stage is Showtime's Dexter, the critically acclaimed saga of the world's most charismatic serial killer who only targets other serial killers.

It's actually a lot funnier than it sounds.