Showing posts with label Jessica Biel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jessica Biel. Show all posts

Sunday, March 1, 2015

A Ghoul Versus Pascal Laugier's The Tall Man

The Tall Man? Is that like the Slender Man's low budget cousin?”

The New French Extremity is a so-called movement used to describe certain French filmmakers that deal in, let's be honest here, some of the most fucked up films imaginable. Films hit with this label often specialize in a combination of EXTREME sexuality and violence, with a heavy learning towards the horror genre. I've yet to review any of the films associated with the movement, but have mentioned them on here before when discussing directors Xavier Gens and Alexandre Aja, as both have entries on the list with their films Frontier(s) and High Tension, respectively.

Of all the films I've seen, none affected me as much as 2008's Martyrs, written and directed by Pascal Laugier. Without spoiling anything, it concerns a young woman getting kidnapped by a cult the horrific experiences she has as their captive. It is probably the most uncomfortable move I've EVER watched in my entire life, but unlike torture porn schlock like the Hostel series, its over the top violence had a point. A massively powerful film that I still think about seven years later, which is more than I can say about the majority of movies I've seen since then. I was very anxious to see what else Laugier had done, disappointed to find out he had only made one other film: 2004's Saint Ange, which I've never been able to track down.

Very recently I discovered he made a third film with almost no fanfare whatsoever, 2012's the Tall Man. I vaguely remember seeing trailers for it, but the second I saw Jessica Biel was the star I dismissed it and never gave it a second thought. The film only got a limited theatrical release before being released on home video less than a month later, and it generally faded into the great realm of obscurity. Until today that is, where we're going to check it out and hope that Laugier isn't just a one hit filmmaker. Get ready to cross your fingers and pray he gets a watchable performance out of Jessica Biel, because it is now time for A Ghoul Versus The Tall Man!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

A Ghoul Versus Total Recall (2012) Part 2

Click here for Part 1!

HOWEVER, there exists a kill code that'll take out all of the robocops and prevent this. Hauser saw it while he was on UFB, which means the resistance can retrieve it from his head and use it to stop Cohaagan. There we have it finally, our plot. Cohaagan is after SPACE and is going about getting it in the most ridiculous way possible: by killing off everyone in the Colony so the UFB can take it over. That's actually a very sweet insane super villain plan, BUUUUUUT it feels so out of place here because it sounds like a comic book plot. It would have fit in perfectly in the original, as that Cohaagen was just on a generic “power and money” trip and could have used some spicing up.

PG-13 Version: the hologram is of him, revealing his real name is Carl Hauser. The hologram still has “limited interactive capabilities” and says pretty much the same stuff Ethan did.

Doug argues with Jessica over the validity of this recording and its revelations, but she's able to convince him by showing the scar on her hand which matches him from the bullet that pierced them. They're about to kiss when they see the bad guys arriving outside. They run down to the lobby to escape, only to find themselves facing the entire police force and the most lens flares you've ever seen in your life.

A Ghoul Versus Total Recall (2012) Part 1

"Original Vs. Remake Part 2: Total Recall (1990) Vs. Total Recall (2012)!"

Click here for the first half of Original Vs. Remake: Total Recall (1990)!

I honestly try to keep an open mind when I watch a movie, no matter how much bad I might have heard about it or what my preconceived notions of the people making it are, because time after time I get proved violently wrong.

“The crappy actor from that stupid Knight's Tale movie is going to play the JOKER?!? FRANCHISE. RUINED.”

That being said, Total Recall (2012) sure did start off in the proverbial hole with me. Not only is it a completely pointless remake (which I suppose adding the phrase “completely pointless” is redundant when talking about remakes), but it was brought to us by the brain children behind the abominable Underworld series AND Live Free Or Die Hard. But I'm sure they at least got some good actors to star in- oh Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale, eh? Yikes.

If you don't know, Kate's husband, Len Wiseman, directed this! Don't worry though, I'm sure she got a part in this movie based off her versatile, NOT AT ALL one dimensional acting and no other reason. You know, just like her AMAZING acting range got her the starring role in the Underworld movies... a couple of which her husband also directed. Hmmm.