A Ghoul Versus The Lone Ranger (Part 2)

Click here for Part 1!

John awakens to find he and Tonto are being held at the Comanche camp, who are preparing to go to war with the white man. John is taken to meet with the elders, so we can have the cliché scene of him trying to explain things to them, assuming they don't speak English, embarrassing himself trying to explain things, and then finding out they DO speak English! Want to guess what the FIRST thing the Comanche elder says?

“What's with the mask?”

Sighhhhh. You know what IS funny? The second I saw John meet with the elders I hit pause on the remote and typed that previous paragraph EXACTLY the way you just read it just to see how right I was. I called it PERFECTLY. Either that means I watch wayyyyyy too many movies (very true), or this movie is just a RABID cliché-fest (also very true). From their conversation we learn Tonto is no longer a Comanche, as we get a FLASHBACK to him as a boy. A flashback within a flashback... this is officially approaching disaster status.

A Ghoul Versus The Lone Ranger (Part 1)

"Don't ever do that again!" - Tonto on the making of this movie.

Has there even been a movie that you've heard is horrible yet your mind just REFUSES to believe it? You're like “NO WAY! ___________ is involved in it, it's impossible it could suck!” and then you go see it... and discover everyone was totally right.  Hopefully that isn't today's review of Disney's The Lone Ranger, because on paper it's doing a lot of right thing. This movie is from the director and writers one of our my favourite films of all time, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. And its... less than stellar sequels. Ahem, moving on.

They also cast “I wish there was a bigger and better word than awesome to describe him” Johnny Depp, who also starred in the Curse of the Black Pearl. And while this is a dreaded remake/reboot/re-imagining, it's at least of a franchise that has been dormant for decades and looks to be a fresh take on a genre we don't see that often for something new. The icing on the cake is when I was very young I freaking LOVED the Lone Ranger, I thought he was just the coolest thing in the world.

On the other hand, this movie got terrible reviews and flopped HARD. Just like World War Z the film suffered from some major production and overspending problems that led to it getting delayed multiple times. By the time it finally came out on July 3, 2013 it had set Disney back an estimated $225 million dollars with an additional $150 million spent on advertising. It couldn't even clear first place on the All-Important Opening Week, coming in second to the box office beast that was Despicable Me 2.