Upon
learning his home world only has minutes to live, Spock transports to
the surface to save the Vulcan High Council and his parents. The
movie's even one step ahead of me by stating they are too far
underground for the ship's teleporters to grab them. Point, Star
Trek. Nero orders the drill
retracted, which causes Sulu to fall off it and go plummeting towards
the surface. Kirk dives off after him to catch him, screaming into
his com for the Enterprise to beam them up. Since they're free
falling at speeds I can't even begin to imagine, the cadet manning
the transporter is unable to lock onto them but luckily Whiz Kid
Chekov has the brains to figure out how to save them.
Just
as soon as they materialize onto the ship, Spock kicks them off the
teleporter pad so he can go down to the surface. He runs into the
caverns where the High Council is, and I just want to stop and say
something about this movie that it gets NOWHERE near enough credit
for: how REAL it feels. Almost every single scene is shot on an
actual SET, and not a stupid green screen. This injects so much
atmosphere into the movie it's almost ridiculous. Disney could NOT
have chose a better director for the upcoming seventh Star
Wars movie.
Spock gets as many
of the Council out of the collapsing cave as he can, including his
father, but sadly his mother doesn't make it as the cliff she was
standing near falls before Chekov can transport her off it. This
is topped off by the total destruction of Vulcan as the Enterprise
speeds away from the black hole. Spock narrates the situation into
his log as we learn only 10,000 Vulcans survived out of the six
billion on the planet. Brutal, especially when it's given the right
amount of gravity so we can feel what a loss this was.
Uhura tries to
console Spock in the elevator as we learn... THEY'RE DATING?! WOW,
abuse of authority much there, Spock? She was his student! Logic
kind of took a backseat to that one, didn't it? I guess this just
goes to prove even logic can take a back seat to a pretty woman. We
catch up with Pike, whom is being tortured by Nero for the “subspace
frequencies” of Starfleet's border protection grids around Earth.
Pike refuses of course, calling out Nero for that little bit of
genocide he just committed.
Nero counters that
he just prevented a genocide, as we learn his back story. He was an
honest Romulan miner, working hard to provide a life for his pregnant
wife until their home world was destroyed while Spock and the
Federation did nothing to help. Revenge against Starfleet and Spock
was naturally the next step, Nero perhaps going a bit crazy in the
process. Pike tells him he's confused as Romulus is still intact,
which only pisses off Nero further. The Romulan produces a
Centaurian slug, a horrific looking bug that he proceeds to cram down
Pike's throat in a nice allusion to Star Trek II: The Wrath of
Khan.
The crew of the
Enterprise tries to figure out what Nero is up to, Spock suggesting
he's a time traveler which prompts Bones to shout out “Damn it man,
I'm a doctor not a physicist!”. Bloody hell, Karl Urban is so
freaking awesome. Kirk wants to go after Nero and rescue Pike while
Spock wants to catch up with the rest of Starfleet and plan further.
This scene also lays out the new movie franchise for all of us, as
Nero's appearance in the past created an alternate reality that it
now takes place in.
This is the moment
I knew Paramount had made the right call handing Star Trek over to
Abrams, as this is about the most brilliant use of a reboot I've EVER
seen. It's not handwaving away nearly fifty years of continuity,
rather it's totally acknowledging it all still happened while
respectfully creating its own story path. An alternate reality has
NEVER been used to this level of effectiveness, and probably never
will be again. Absolute genius, which is probably the only time
you'll hear me say that about an Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci
script.
Kirk and Spock butt
heads over what to do next, Spock ultimately knocking Kirk out with
the Vulcan nerve pinch and ordering him sent off the ship. He's put
on an escape pod and jettisoned to a nearby ice planet, a recording
ordering him to stay in the pod until authorities come to collect
him. He's all “fuck that noise!” and heads out to a nearby
Starfleet outpost. This proves to me an unwise decision, as a giant
fanged beast begins to chase him to be its next meal.
Kirk runs into
a cavern to escape, a cavern which I might add SOMEHOW HAS LENS
FLARES. That shouldn't even BE possible! The creature traps Kirk,
but he's saved by a man wielding a giant torch. The man is revealed
to be the elder Spock from the main timeline, which to say he just
HAPPENED to be on the same planet that Kirk landed on was slightly
lucky. This is one of Abrams' biggest trademarks: gigantic freaking
coincidences. In his works, everyone is secretly related to each
other and they all live in a world that is the size of a gas station.
Kirk asks Spock how
he knows him, Spock responding with his famed “I have been and
always shall be your friend” line also from the Wrath of Khan.
It's amazing how in a movie such as the Robocop remake
referencing the original movie comes off forced and lame, whereas
here it completely works thanks to logical writing where such a line
FEELS natural.
In the next example
of this movie doing practically everything right, it avoids the scene
of just having Kirk and Spock sitting there while expository dialogue
is thrown around, instead having Spock do the Vulcan mind meld on
Kirk so we can get some interesting visuals for said expository
dialogue. We learn 129 years from now a star went supernova and
threatened to destroy Romulus, Ambassador Spock and the Federation
pledging to help them. A prototype ship was built, the plan to
outfit it with red matter that'd create a black hole to absorb the
supernova.
For some reason
Spock was chosen to pilot the ship, which seems odd to say the least.
You think they'd want their best pilot on that one, as I can't
really recall Spock having extraordinary piloting skills. However
the supernova grew faster than anyone could have anticipated, and
Romulus was destroyed before Spock could get there. Nero, in his
stolen mining ship, tracked Spock down but in the process both got
pulled into the black hole into the alternate reality.
This is where
things start getting fuzzy, because it's explained since Nero went
through the black hole first he arrived twenty five years before
Spock did... even though in the shot they're almost side by side when
they go through the black hole. When Spock finally arrived Nero was
waiting for him, capturing him and his ship full of red matter.
Okay, I get HOW Nero knew where Spock was going to be but HOW did he
know when he'd arrive? Is interdimensional physics something you
learn as a Romulan miner? How did he know Spock was going to arrive
at exactly twenty five years later?
In an act of pure
maliciousness, he stranded Spock on the ice planet so he'd have a
front row seat of Vulcan being destroyed in a sick twist on trying to
make Spock feel his pain over the loss of Romulus. They don't write
villains like this anymore. No really, they don't. I cannot say
enough good about how awesome Eric Bana is in this role. Spock and
Kirk head to the outpost where they meet its sole residents:
Montgomery “Scotty” Scott and his alien sidekick Keenser.
Scotty
is played by the eternally hilarious Simon Pegg, and GODDAMN is he
having the time of his life here. A lifelong Star Trek fan,
I'm pretty sure his smile is burned into his face at the joy he must
be experiencing in every scene. Scotty has been
stuck on the outpost for over six months due to an incident involving
his theory of “transwarp beaming”, where he tested it out on
Admiral Archer's beloved beagle... who is still missing. This is a
surprising shout out to the polarizing Star Trek series Enterprise
and its main character Jonathan Archer, proving the writers
definitely did their homework with this one.
Spock tells Scotty
how to fix his theory so Kirk can beam back aboard the Enterprise and
stop young Spock from making the mistake of not confronting Nero.
Spock tells Kirk he's not coming with him and that young Spock CANNOT
be made aware of his existence under any circumstance. Kirk argues,
as he has no way of unseating young Spock but luckily future Spock
knows exactly what to do: piss off young Spock so he'll lose control
and step down from command under the Starfleet regulation of being
“emotionally compromised”. Kirk, the master of infuriating
people, is all “I got this!” and teleports back to the Enterprise
along with Scotty.
They're immediately
captured and brought to the Lens Flare Bridge, Kirk taunting Spock
over the death of his mother which, if you'll remember, is the last
thing you want to do around him. Spock starts BEATING THE SHIT out
of Kirk until Sarek steps in, likely saving Kirk's life. Spock,
horrified over his reaction, steps down from command and rushes off
the bridge.
Kirk takes the
chair and sets the ship after Nero, Chekov setting up a plan to sneak
onto Nero's ship undetected. Spock, fresh off a pep talk from his
father, joins in to help. He sure forgave Kirk's trash talk pretty
quickly, didn't he? And just like that, the seeds of Kirk's and
Spock's friendship are planted as Kirk and Spock plan to beam to
Nero's ship to steal the black hole machine.
Nero arrives at
Earth, deploying the drill. Kirk instructs Sulu that if he has an
advantage to fire on Nero's ship, then heads to the transporter pad
where he finds Spock and Uhura MAKING OUT. Geez, Spock don't give a
fuck, does he? Maybe HE should have been the one in Kirk's role in
this film! Spock calls her Nyota as she leaves, concluding the
running gag of Kirk learning her name. This is actually the first
ACTUAL use of his first name in all of Star Trek lore unless
you count the novels, which I certainly don't.
Scotty beams them
onto Nero's ship, informing them they should find themselves in an
empty cargo bay. Instead they find themselves in a control room of
the vessel SURROUNDED by Romulans. Wah wah wahhhh. This is
fortunate for us though, as this scene gives way to one of the most
exciting shootouts ever captured in a recent sci-fi movie not called
the Matrix. Sure, you can bemoan Star Trek shouldn't be about
violent shootouts, but ONCE AGAIN, it works in the context of the
situation. The fast pace of the battle along with the clean cuts and
smooth editing really elevate this one.
They shoot their
way to future Spock's ship, Spock quite interested to learn the ship
recognizes him as it addresses him as an Ambassador. He learns this
ship is from the future as Kirk quickly GTFOs to avoid an awkward
conversation, going to rescue Pike. He runs afoul of Nero, who beats
him down and begins choking the life out of him. You know, I think
there's more “Kirk getting the crap kicked out of him scenes”
than NON “Kirk getting the crap kicked out of him” scenes at this
point.
Meanwhile Spock
blasts his way out of the ship and destroys the drill, Nero leaving
Kirk to Ayel... at least I think. I don't want to sound racist or
anything, but the Romulans look WAY too alike to me. They really
need to follow Starfleet's stellar example of colour-coded uniforms.
Nero fires on Spock but he warps away, Nero ordering his ship to
follow. That's the Earth saved so they're doing good so far, my
question is WHERE THE HELL IS STARFLEET during all of this? You mean
to tell me there's not a single other ship in the vicinity of the
FREAKING HEADQUATERS of the Federation right now? Or hell, there's
not even some kind of missile based Earth defense system down on the
surface? This is all nitpicking, but it's the stuff you start
thinking about when you see the same movie multiple times.
The Enterprise
intercepts Nero ships, opening a major can of space whoop ass on it.
Spock runs a collision course on Nero's ship, his way more formidable
than the Kelvin's due to the black hole machine. Kirk dispatches and
rescues Pike, teleporting back aboard the Enterprise with Spock.
With all the places in piece, the red matter in Spock's crashed ship
begins forming a black hole and sucking Nero's ship back into it.
Kirk hails him as the movie takes time to remind us this IS still a
Star Trek movie as Kirk offers to help save Nero and his crew.
This was just the icing on the cake to me, because Star Trek
was always about being the better person and not giving in to petty
vengeance.
Nero tells Kirk to
cram it with razor blades, so Kirk has Sulu and Chekov open up on the
Romulan ship with full fire. The ship explodes as it's sucked into
the black hole, but now the Enterprise has spent so much timing
destroying the Romulans they're getting sucked in too. Fortunately
Scotty is on top of things, ejecting the ship's warn core and
detonating it, the blast field pushing the ship well clear of the
black hole... which then conveniently closes itself for some reason.
Well, that was nice of it at least.
We jump ahead to
later, where Spock is confronted by future Spock outside of Starfleet
Academy. So, uh, that whole “he can never know I exist” thing is
null and void now? Aww, the credits are right around the corner, we
gotta wrap this thing up! Future Spock tells him he's staying in
this timeline to help rebuild the Vulcan race, wishing his younger
self good luck as he departs. At the Academy, Tyler Perry promotes
Kirk to captain of the Enterprise, relieving the now Admiral Pike.
Everyone in the room begins clapping as the camera pans out to future
Spock watching his old friend proudly. Our final shot is
of the Enterprise blasting out into space, while the classic Star
Trek theme plays and future Spock narrates us out. Sing along if you
know the words!
“Space, the final
frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Her
ongoing mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new
lifeforms and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone
before.”.
Cue the credits,
which I want to mention end with a card saying “In Memory Of Gene
Roddenberry And Majel Barrett Roddenberry”, which is 110% class
because Majel was damn near as much Star Trek as Gene was.
It still holds up!
Yeah, I saw a few more flaws than the previous times but I still
absolutely loved this movie. It's only real negatives are things out
of its control: it isn't as moving or powerful as early Star Trek
films but those had almost seventy hours of character development
behind them to back them up. My only REAL complaint was they pretty
much wasted Karl Urban, who was barely in this thing. Star Trek
has always been the Holy Trinity of Kirk, Spock, and Bones, three of
the best friends in all of fiction. I can kind of forgive this
because this is just the first movie and they had A LOT to establish,
but Bones' prominence should have been towards the top of their list.
Overall the acting
is excellent (especially Zachary Quinto and Eric Bana), the dialogue
is pretty much perfect, the movie looks FANTASTIC thanks in a huge
part to using set pieces, and the story is top notch. Even more so
when you consider Kurtzman and Orci were writing the first two reprehensible Transformers movies around this
time. Abrams kept them honest, which is one of the highest
compliments I can pay his superb direction.
An excellent movie
still excellent five years later, and will continue to be excellent
in the future. Just steel yourself for the hundreds of moths that
are going to dive bomb your television screen while chasing the lens
flares.
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