It is almost mind blowing it's taken me
this long to review a film that wasn't produced by the immortal Roger
Corman. For those few of you not familiar with the name, he is a
producer who has made a career out of making VERY cheap movies in a
VERY short time, having over FOUR HUNDRED credited to his name and is
still going strong. Although he has definitely helped create some
all-time classics in the form of Death Race 2000, Rock 'n' Roll
High School, and Children of the Corn, he is probably best
known for hundreds of exploitation films featuring everyone's
favourite sex and violence.
One such example is today's film,
1987's Stripped to Kill, a
certified cult classic that RULED late night Cinemax broadcasts back
in the day. With it's awesome tag line of “A Maniac is killing
strippers. Detective Sheehan has one weapon to stop him. Her
body.”, what's NOT to love about that premise? Chosen to play the
title role was Kay Lenz, an actress of minor acclaim in the 1970s and
80s, including a highly memorable spot as the object of Rod Stewart's
crossing the line stalker affections in the 1984 music video for his
hit “Infatuation”.
Helming the director's chair was Katt Shea, an actress turned
director like many of the alumni of the so-called “Corman Film
School”. Stripped to Kill
was her debut film, though she would go on to find much bigger
success in Poison Ivy
and the Rage: Carrie 2.
Stripped to Kill has maintained
an enduring legacy over the years to the point where it was just
released on DVD earlier this month by the MAGNIFICENT distribution
company Scorpion Releasing, who specialize in reviving long
forgotten films that deserve some love. They're even planning a
blu-ray release of this down the road, showing they have a true
understanding of how movies should be done. I think it's high time
to see what Stripped to Kill has done to inspire such a loyal fan
base, so get out your dollar bills and get ready to make it rain with
A Ghoul Versus Stripped To Kill!
We open with a woman meditating on the
themes of isolation and alienation in Aldous Huxley's 1932 novel
Brave New World, and by that, I mean she's stripping. We see this is
her audition to work at a strip club owned by a man named Ray, who is
played by... NORMAN FELL?! No way, THE Norman Fell? Mr. Roper from
Three's A Company is acting in a sexploitation film? Well, I
think I've officially seen everything. We catch up with the woman,
Angel, back at her girlfriend Roxanne's apartment. They're making
out, unknowingly being watched through the door by Roxanne's CREEPY
ASS and Flock of Seagulls haircut having younger brother Eric.
Angel leaves to go to work, finding
Eric standing there. He asks Roxanne when she's planning on moving
out, obviously very upset at Angel for taking his big sis away. He
viciously grabs Roxanne, and then viciously hugs her. Ohh-kay, I
think I already have an idea on who the killer might be... Even the
movie is getting awkward, so it cuts to another stripper that may or
may not be Brigitte Nielsen or possibly Dee Snider. She dances for
the entire length of the song as I begin to wonder if this film
wasn't more interested in showing naked women than trying to tell a
story? Nah, I'm sure I'm just imagining things.
After her number, she goes back to the
dressing room to engage in some witty dialogue with the rest of her
coworkers. Something we see very early on is this film has some
GODAWFUL editing, to the point characters almost look like they're
teleporting back and forth between scenes. Roxanne is late from work
so Angel warps over to a payphone to call her, Roxanne sounding very
out of it on the other side of the line. They agree to meet at a
bridge later, Angel interrupted by a creepy patron who tries to give
her flowers and talk about how she dances ONLY for him. Scratch
Eric, this guy is the killer! Angel screams for help so he runs
away.
We smash cut to the bridge where Angel
is waiting, but is met by a hooded figure instead. The figure shoves
Angel off the bridge and pours gasoline all over her, running down to
rip her dress off. Before things can get any more fucked up, we cut
to the hero of this story: Detective Cody Sheenan. Cody is working
undercover in a nearby park trying to catch a thief, chasing him when
he grabs money out of the guitar case of a nearby player. She ends
up tripping over Angel, only Hoodie is now gone. And here's where
the editing goes to complete shit, as Hoodie appears out of thin air
and throws more gasoline on Cody. He then warps right in front of
her to kick a gun out of her hand, following up by throwing a match
at her.
Cody's partner magically teleports out
of NOWHERE to drag her to safety, but alas poor Angel goes up in
flames. Hoodie escapes in the chaos, opening up a wormhole to
safety. I didn't realize this was going to be a sci-fi sexploitation
movie, it really seems like something they should have explored more.
An alternate reality human race where everyone can teleport seems
like it would make for a pretty interesting movie, instead of the one
they're currently throwing at us. We abruptly transition back to the
club for another strip scene, although this one only lasts a couple
of minutes instead of a full song. Gotta admire their restraint on
that one. Fortunately, it's Roxanne to the rescue as she shows up to
do a number.
What happened to meeting Angel on the
bridge? Was that just a setup to kill her girlfriend? Does she even
know Angel is dead? WHAT IS THE TIME FRAME OF THIS MOVIE?! This
actually gets answered in the next scene in the dressing room with
Ray wondering where Angel is, so I guess it's the same night?
Roxanne throws her hat in the ring for “I'm the killer!” status
by blankly replying she doesn't know. A jump cut takes us back to
Cody, who has just learned Angel's identity. She meets with her
partner No First Name Heineman, who so far is the only bright spot in
this entire film. He's played by the highly charismatic Greg Evigan,
an actor who has been working steady for over three decades but is
probably best known for co-starring in NBC's oddball 1987 sitcom My
Two Dads.
Over the drive to the police station,
Heineman fills Cody in on how Angel's coworkers have been most
uncooperative in the investigation before a warp cut takes them to a
doughnut shop. This movie probably should have opened with a warning
about how if you have epilepsy, you shouldn't be watching this. Or
taste in good movies, either one. Heineman suggests she go
undercover as a stripper to find out more, then pulls out a
switchblade and pretends to stab her? Huh?! They engage in an
impromptu “knife training session” in full view of the rest of
the patrons of the store, which you think would have prompted someone
to call the police since neither are wearing a uniform. But again,
alternate reality so perhaps this is a custom of Earth-619 or
whatsoever.
Cody agrees to do it, as there JUST
HAPPENS TO BE an amateur contest that very night where the winner
gets a job at the club. Wow, Cody better go out and buy a lottery
ticket since this is obviously her lucky day! There's shockingly a
smooth transition to her stage debut, where we quickly learn Cody
must have taken a crash course in dance lessons from Seinfeld's
Elaine Benes. She is HORRIBLY awkward as she tries to get her groove
on, which is genuinely hilarious. More laughs come when she can't
figure out how to undo the back of her fancy dress, so she just rips
it off. She starts feeling the music now, cementing her win by
taking her bra off to the delight of the men in the club and half of
the police department who showed up in plain clothes.
She goes backstage and starts earning
the trust of the strippers, but it's been like a minute since we saw
someone taking their clothes off so Cinnamon takes the stage to
correct this grave oversight. During her dance she accidentally
falls off the stage, right into the lap of the Flower Creep. After
the dance Ray fires her for being high all the time, so she storms
off in a huff. She teleports outside to try to catch a taxi, but
can't find one. Gee, I wonder what's going to happen to her now on
this empty dark street? Oh never mind, back to the club because the
“editor” of this film doesn't understand what tension is. This
scene is also pointless, so let's go back to the stage for more
stripping!
To try to develop that whole “plot”
thing, the movie has Cody become suspicious of Flower Creep. She
puts Heineman onto him, so he follows him into an alley where he sees
him buy a butterfly knife from a street vendor. I'm not believing
for a second this guy is the killer, but thanks for trying movie. We
return to Cinnamon, who gets jumped by Hoodie on a dark street and
viciously strangled to death. He ties her body to a truck and
leaves, which is odd cause I thought fire was his thing. An arsonist
killer is certainly more interesting than just a random killer, but
again, I don't think the movie's main focus was on characterization.
The next day Cody goes to the police
station after a morning of shopping for stripper clothes, which sets
up another funny scene where she asks Heineman how much he thinks a
pair of fishnet stalkings cost. Without even hesitating he replies
“fourteen bucks”, a knowingly smile on his face. Damn, I love
this guy! More stripping follows, but then things get going when the
rest of the strippers lure Flower Creep into an alley and try to
attack him as they believe he's the one who killed Angel. Cody
intervenes and he runs away, the women telling her they did this for
Roxanne. After learning about Angel's relationship with Roxanne,
Cody begins to suspect her because it's “always the lover” who
did it. My thoughts exactly, although knowing this movie it'll turn
out to be Ray or Random Stripper #11.
Stripping and more stripping, and yep
Cody is still AWFUL at this whole thing. It's a good thing she's the
main character or her ass would have been fired ages ago. Heineman
graces us with his presence in a scene where he breaks into Roxanne's
apartment looking for clues, but ends up getting caught by her
shotgun wielding neighbour. It turns out the man is an ex-cop,
lowering his gun when he learns Heineman is a detective. This goes
nowhere so we warp cut to Heineman talking with Cody in her
apartment. These rapid cuts are REALLY wearing me out, my brain
keeps trying to fill in the continuity behind them and starts hurting
every time. The police chief calls and says Cody is going too far by
working at the club, so she has to cease immediately. In case you've
been wondering how cheap this film looks, you can SEE THE BOOM MIC
during part of this scene just hanging out at the top of the frame.
Yikes.
Cody is confused by this, as this was
her assignment. Heineman fesses up and reveals it was all his idea,
as he was hoping catching the killer would lead to a promotion for
him. Cody goes to the club to quit, but Ray guilts her into working
one last shift. She goes on stage with Heineman angrily watching in
the crowd, but he could just be mad because she still can't dance
worth a damn. He confronts her after the show, revealing they found
Cinnamon’s body. Oh yeah, her! I kind of forgot this was supposed
to be some kind of murder mystery story or something, because after
Cody got hired SO DID SHE. Some very abrupt cuts follow as the two
violate the laws of time and space until they exit a black hole to
find themselves at Cody's place, where they end up having sex on her
filthy floor. This does nothing to help the sexual tension they've
had brewing all movie, and only serves to drive them apart.
Heineman takes off to find Flower Creep
while Cody works on digging a little deeper into Roxanne by looking
her file up at the station. While talking with the clerk she brings
up No First Name Margolin, the ex-cop who almost fired on Heineman.
The clerk says he was crooked, forced into retirement after making
underage prostitutes sleep with him to avoid jail time. I really
hope this movie isn't going to have a character that's been in it for
all of a MINUTE turn out to be behind everything. Showing off her
mad detective skills, Cody goes to Roxanne's without telling ANYONE
where she's headed. No way THAT'LL bite you in the ass until
Heineman bursts in for the last second save, no sir.
She meets with Eric, who is trying his
hardest to out-red herring Flower Creep but failing miserably. Eric
leaves, so Cody searches his room and finds... Margolin's body.
Phew, so at least this movie isn't THAT incompetent. And there's
Roxanne holding a knife, attacking Cody with some of the MOST INEPT
knife attacks ever captured on film. I honestly think she thinks a
knife is for hitting instead of stabbing. Unfortunately for Roxy,
Cody has spent the entire film learning how to defend herself against
a knife so she grabs it and stabs her in the chest. I was kind of
expecting... more.
Heineman kicks in the door with his gun
drawn a minute too late, so at least we got a nice subversion of that
particular cliché. But then we revert to well worn territory as
Roxanne gets up and shoots Heineman in the chest two times, pulling
the knife out of her bloodless chest. A subversion within a cliché
within a subversion... we are hitting Subversion-ception here now,
folks! “Roxanne” RIPS OFF HER BREASTS to reveal it's a
prosthetic, and that she's really... Eric! DU DUN DUUUUUN! It seems
he had no choice but to kill his beloved sister when she said she was
moving out with Angel, and is now killing everyone else... because
reasons. Sure whatever, let's just wrap this thing up already.
Eric starts to pour gasoline on Cody,
but she throws him into a glass table and runs out the door. Hey,
you know what this movie hasn't had in forever? STRIPPING! Yes,
they actually splice the climactic final chase scene with shots of
one of the strippers dancing. Good Lord. The club ends up being the
destination of Cody's poorly edited escape, Eric entering the club
hot on her heels and begins to shoot everyone in sight. This proves
to be his undoing though, as one of the shots ends up igniting the
gasoline on his body and he goes up like a roman candle. This was
probably the hardest ending I've had to follow in a movie YET on this
blog, I rewound it like five times trying to figure out what exactly
was going on before giving up.
The fire begins to spread towards Cody,
but fortunately Heineman makes up for his failed cliché earlier by
NAILING IT this time thanks to his powers of dramatic teleportation.
Two cliches really, because he has wearing a bulletproof jacket the
entire time. Cody tells him she can't feel her foot because
apparently she got shot at some point during the ending clusterfuck,
but Heineman checks and says she just got shot through the fatty part
of her thigh. Cody, can you send us out of here in style?
“My thigh is not fat!”.
Oh. Cue the credits.
I imagine this was a pretty good movie
because Roger Corman got a hold of it and edited it to shit. Buried
deep beneath the endless scenes of strippers is a solid tale of a
woman tricked into becoming a stripper to further her partner's
career, and then slowly losing herself to the sensation of
empowerment over the patrons of the club. You REALLY have to reach
to find this though, as all of it takes a backseat to boobs, boobs,
and more boobs.
What little acting that survived the
editing process was quite enjoyable, Kay Lenz and Greg Evigan both
did bang up jobs with their characters. Lenz is on record for
complaining about the editing of the film, which is understandable
considering how it undermined her performance and the story. In the
rare scenes where she wasn't upstaged by five minutes of a random
stripper, she was very compelling as a tough as nails cop trying to
solve the mystery. It is something how many good actors must have
signed on for Corman's films thinking “THIS is the one that'll be
different, it won't be a mindless T and A-fest!”. No such luck
here, but maybe the sequel will finally break the streak. Oh yes,
there is a sequel to this movie, which was also directed by Katt Shea
but that's a story for another day.
The numerous stripping sequences do
halt the film dead in its tracks every single time, but outside of
those the story constantly had me guessing and the ending was a
genuine surprise, even if there was almost nothing to set up the
twist beforehand. Still though, I'd check this out if you're a fan
of sexploitation films, especially the bumper crop of ones we got in
the late eighties. This is head and shoulders above most, thanks to
Shea trying her hardest to make a movie that wasn't instantly
forgettable.
No comments:
Post a Comment