A Ghoul Versus The Andy Sidaris Collection: Picasso Trigger

“I feel like when there's nudity required, it's there. Certainly some of it is gratuitous, I'm not going to lie to you, but hey, that's what we're here for. In the play 42^nd Street, where he says 'You go on that stage an unknown, you come off that stage a star', I say 'You step into that hot tub an unknown, you step out that hot tub a star'.” - Andy Sidaris

Previously on Hard Ticket To Hawaii...

Andy Sidaris graced the world of cinema with a movie that feels like it was conceived by teenage boys, and yet was a billion times more intelligent and fun than any of the Fast and the Furious movies. We met Donna and Taryn, agents of the DEA whose hobbies include fighting crime, giving tours of Hawaii, hauling cancer infested snakes around, and talking to each other topless. They're back for another round in what is looking like a Cinematic Universe, so SUCK IT MARVEL.

Picasso Trigger is the third movie in the Andy Sidaris collection, released a year after Hard Ticket To Hawaii. This is among the more obscure Sidaris films, a lot of this is likely due to its bizarre and non-attention grabbing title. The Picasso Trigger is actually the state fish of Hawaii, a very beautiful and multi-coloured fish. That doesn't exactly scream a movie with hot babes and guns, so a lot of video stores probably didn't order the title heavily when its name popped up on their forms in 1988. WE however all know better, so let's see what awaits our identical heroines in A Ghoul Versus Picasso Trigger!

A Ghoul Versus The Andy Sidaris Collection: Hard Ticket To Hawaii (Part 2)

Click here for Part 1!

Rowdy and his broseph Jade arrive in Honolulu, hopping in a jeep and driving down the road as they talk about how much Jade wants to bang Edy. They drive past a skateboarder doing handstands on his board, commenting he must be doing some “heavy doobies”. This turns out to be one of the thugs who killed the cops from the beginning, meeting up with one of his friends down the road and telling him about the agents. Skater hops in the back of their truck because the passenger seat is occupied by... a blow up doll. UMMM, random movie is random.

They chase after the agents, catching up to them and then... speeding right past them? This scene is made even more incomprehensible by Jade commenting that they're gone, even though the previous shot showed they were LITERALLY side-by-side! Then, the truck warps down the road and Skater gets out, armed with a gun AND THE BLOW UP DOLL. What in God's name is going on in this movie?! Skater heads back down the road, shooting at the jeep along and wounding Jade in the process. Why didn't he just shoot the agents when they DROVE PAST THEM? I bet Skater's wondering that too when Jade backs up the jeep and smashes into him, sending him airborne because Sidaris is ALSO a master student of physics.

A Ghoul Versus The Andy Sidaris Collection: Hard Ticket To Hawaii (Part 1)

“I can't do a script, turn it over to a studio, have a reader read it, and have some kid out of college come to me and say 'That doesn't work for me'. I'm gonna kill the fucker, and I'll be in jail. It serves me well, and is cheaper, to finance my own movies.” - Andy Sidaris

Previously on Malibu Express...

We got introduced to the Andy Sidaris film style: bullets, bombs, and boobs! Something was missing though, something that's associated with his work almost as much as naked women: it didn't take place in Hawaii! Sure at the very end Luciana said she fled to Hawaii, but she totally didn't as the entire thing was filmed in California.

Enter Hard Ticket to Hawaii, which is what I'd say is the most famous of the Sidaris Collection by a landslide. It's become THE “go-to” movie people often use to initiate others into the world of Andy Sidaris, and has become so famous Paste Magazine actually named it the greatest B-movie OF ALL TIME, even ahead of Tommy Wiseau's The Room and the 1989 epic Samurai Cop. If THAT'S not high praise, I don't know what is. So let's get ready to see why this film is so beloved amongst fans of the wonder that is B-movies with A Ghoul Versus Hard Ticket To Hawaii!